My man is not lazy. But he is blind. Well, he has to be right?
He doesn’t see the scum that develops in the bathroom sink from his accumulated shaving slivers. Or the fact that our cutlery draw is currently housing a million toast crumbs. Or that the floors need sweeping or the windows wiped, or the fresh laundry taken off the clothes line.
Like I said. He isn’t lazy. He is not intentionally avoiding these jobs. He just doesn’t see them.
We have lived together for 6yrs and in that time I’ve not been able to dissuade him from certain habits that make me want to pull out tufts of my hair and skip about the house in a dance of rage. I mean how hard is it to throw a used tea bag into the rubbish instead of the sink I ask you?
I’m obviously exaggerating here. And despite a few bad habits (which don’t seem like they’re going away any time soon) my man is actually a pretty tidy guy. I have heard of way worse, and my fella’s untidiness is more a result of his hectic work schedule than it is anything else. But I can’t help but notice that he struggles to use his initiative when it comes to cleaning and I have to ask him to do chores. Repeatedly. I have become that awful nagging woman we all promised ourselves we would never be. And, six years later, my fella has just tuned out. Much like this bloke:
All this makes me wonder…. why are men incapable of using their initiative around the house?
(Note to haters: this is not supposed to be lumping all men into the same category – some blokes are super into their cleaning and require no nagging, I know. But this is what I know to be true en masse, based on 33years of conversations with girlfriends).
So is there a way to cure male-patterned-untidiness?
“Just give me a list” my hubby says, “and I will do everything you want.”
“But you shouldn’t need a list” I complain, thinking that’s just one more bloody thing to add to my already long to-do list. “There are jobs all around the house right in front of your eyes – I shouldn’t have to instruct you! I am not your mother!” I say.
“I just don’t see the house as a priority” he grumbles. I cut him off before he can start moaning about having two kids, running our mobile Physio business, and generally living our life.
“It makes me feel better when the house is clean!” I say. (Because truly it does. My stress levels are way less when the pillows are lined up neatly on the sofa. I know…what a freak.)
“So give me a list” he repeats.
Righto. I decide to play this game. In less than 60seconds I’ve bullet-pointed a heap of items. His load is heavy because I’ve had a c-section recently and need to take it easy. The list wouldn’t normally be so long.
I expect him to baulk at the list and huff and puff like the grumpy Scottish wolf he can be. #lovehimanyway
Instead, he just says thanks, and makes a start on some of the easier tasks.
Is it really this easy? Or is my man just an all-round good bloke who is happy to chip in, but just needs some general direction. Are we, as nagging women, missing a trick by not helping them to help us?
If all I need to do in order to sacrifice a week’s worth of nagging is write down a 1min to-do list, then I’m all for it.
Anyone else got tactics to share?